Pragmatism

Correction

Did James Joyce really only have one eye and refuse to cover it with a patch, roaming the streets of Dublin drunk and frightening alley cats and schoolboys named Stephen? Who cares. It's a good story.

Correction

She called it "my mental shit," as though that kind of pain was actually more like an incurable case of chicken pox or a flu she hadn't yet managed to shake.

Funny thing, I lost my virginity on September 11.

His pants were on their last legs

That later sunk by the board

Sorry. I thought you were awesome.

At least it isn't hurting anyone!

Tacoma

I said, "Come into the walk-in."

He said, "Finally." He was joking.

When we were in there with the door cracked I said, "Okay, promise you won't get weird about this."

"Okay."

I lifted my shirt and showed him the bars through my nipples. My nipples were hard from the cold air but also from the bars.

He looked and then said, "Nice."

Side Effects

And what about side effects, especially how long-term use of inhaled insulin affects the lungs?

Correction

The girl wore a checkered jacket.

"Yeah it's in Brooklyn. ... So, I'll just hop on the train and text you when I get to the party to let you know if it's good."

Correction

I convinced my boss to change the channel on the newsroom TV to ESPN so I could watch the pregame show before Jacksonville played Indy. I was interested in the game to the extent that I wanted to see Peyton Manning sacked.

I read the captions, because the TV was on Mute. CNBC was on another TV and the "Fast Money" guys were chatting about Apple and Google. I read Kornheiser make a joke about Chuck Norris.

There was one other woman sitting across the office from me. It was Monday night.

Correction

Lou Reed was singing about leather boots. I was nervous that I hadn't done anything at all with this weekend but go to parties and court older women with tattoos. I was drinking Gatorade on the recommendation of my friend. It helped some.

One girl (probably with tattoos) called me from a 917 area code. At that time, Nico was singing "I'm Not Saying." I knew her name because it was listed in my phone but I did not remember a face. It felt quite nice for a girl I didn't know to be calling me, probably with something nice to say. Maybe she would want to grab a drink.

I let it ring several more times before I picked up, just in case she would have something mean to say when we talked.

They Are Just Trying to Be Happy

Correction

He woke up late, because his schedule was fairly blank in the morning and he had grown accustomed to the gunshots of jackhammers and the car crashes of plywood sheets being dumped without ceremony to the cement floor of the construction site that bordered his basement apartment, catty corner.

Keyhole's Fireplace

"You should care more about my fireplace."
-Keyhole